Mama Said

God blessed me by allowing me to be born into a Christian home, with Christian parents that loved the Lord, each other, and my sisters and me. They worked hard, teaching us right from wrong and setting the right examples for us. I was exposed to the Gospel at an early age and gave my heart to Jesus while still a young boy. I’ve not always lived and acted like it, but I’ve been a Christian for almost as long as I can remember.

I don’t know how many real true angels God has put here on this earth, but my Mama was one of them. Look up sweetness and kindness in the dictionary and you’ll find my Mama. She reared three of us siblings and I can never remember her raising her voice. I may have had a few spankings early in life, because something had taught me to listen when Mama spoke. But from the time I was old enough to have a clear memory, I remember only one spanking by my Mama. I can remember many, many times I should have been spanked, but when I did wrong, Mama would usually cry. I can clearly remember how it broke my heart to see my Mama cry, and how much more I would have preferred a spanking.

My Daddy was a Railway Mail Clerk, working on the trains, and was gone from home a lot. While Mama had the most profound influence on my life, “Pop’s” influence was also significant. Pop did a little boxing early in life, and frequently used language from those days. Early in my life he stressed to me that whatever happened, or whatever I had done, I should always know that he “was in my corner”. I understood what that meant, and throughout life whenever I got into trouble Pop was the first person I wanted to see. I remember friends in high school having problems and hoping their Daddy didn’t find out; but that never made sense to me, because my Pop would be the first one I’d turn to when I had a problem.

Pop took his fatherhood duties seriously and there was never much playing around with him. He was quick to correct and stern with discipline, but it was done in such a way that there was never a doubt in my mind that he loved me very much, and he wanted me to be the best I could. Pop held ladies in high esteem, placing them on a pedestal, and behavior that might be acceptable to him around men could draw a sharp rebuke if there were ladies present. I can remember him getting up in a restaurant and going to a table of strangers to remind them that there were ladies present that could hear their conversation. Although he was not a large man physically, he had a presence that demanded respect and usually received an apology for his efforts.

He impressed upon me that I was to be a gentleman around ladies and that boys do not hit girls. My sisters could do nothing that would provoke me into hitting them, because I knew how Pop felt about boys hitting girls and I did not want to find out what would happen to me if I did it. I must confess that I did find sneaky and conniving ways to get even when they made me mad, but I never hit one of them. Pop always corrected my behavior when I erred in his presence, and his rebuke usually started with, “Boy ! ”. Whenever he started his comments with an emphatic “Boy”, I knew what was coming. The last time I remember hearing this was in my living room when I used a vulgar word in front of my wife. Pop said, “ Boy!, do not talk like that in front of a lady!” I was 60 years old and he was 84.

My mind is crammed full of things “Mama said”. She had a way of teaching with parables, and stories, and examples that would stick in your head for the rest of your life. Like when things would not be going well in life and you would wonder why God was letting all this trouble happen to you; Mama explained that life was like a big work of God’s embroidery. He is on the top looking down at the beautiful picture taking shape. And we’re on the bottom looking up at the mess of tangles and knots. When we would pray and tell God what a mess things were, He would look down at the work nearing completion and say things looked just fine from there.

What follows is some things “Mama said”. Since it’s all from memory, Mama may get credit for some things she didn’t actually say, but in every case it is something Mama would have said if she had thought of it. And besides, some days I’m pretty sure Mama is still talking to me.

Mama said your conscience is a very small, sharp pointed, metal triangle embedded in your heart. When you do something you should not do, it turns ever so slightly and the three points prick your heart to let you know to stop doing it. If you ignore the pricks in your heart and keep doing it, your conscience will eventually cut a circle in your heart so it can spin around with no pricks at all. That’s when you’re in trouble because you won’t know right from wrong anymore.

Mama said a lot of folks in this old world are hungry and we should be thankful for any food we have and never ever complain about what it is or how it’s cooked or even how it tastes. Just be thankful you have something to eat. The Bible says, “When the people complained, it displeased the Lord”.

I spent 37 years of my career in supervision and management, giving instructions and trying to motivate folks to do their best. Sometimes I was tempted to slam my fist down and say “because I said so”, but I could never forget that Mama had said for me to not ever let the love of power replace the power of love in my life.

Mama said I should read and study my Bible every day so when Jesus comes back I won’t have to try to explain to Him why I didn’t have time to read the book he gave us. And besides that, if some false prophet starts quoting Hezekiah 10:18 to me I’ll have sense enough to know Hezekiah’s not a book in the Bible.

Mama said when you become a child of God, he does not take away your freedom of choice or your human desires. You still have temptations and the ability to choose sin. But He hooks a big bungee cord on the back of your belt so you can only go so far away from Him. The further you stretch this cord and go away from God, the harder you are coming back when you reach the end of your cord. It can be very painful.

More later