Mama Said

God blessed me by allowing me to be born into a Christian home, with Christian parents that loved the Lord, each other, and my sisters and me. They worked hard, teaching us right from wrong and setting the right examples for us. I was exposed to the Gospel at an early age and gave my heart to Jesus while still a young boy. I’ve not always lived and acted like it, but I’ve been a Christian for almost as long as I can remember.

I don’t know how many real true angels God has put here on this earth, but my Mama was one of them. Look up sweetness and kindness in the dictionary and you’ll find my Mama. She reared three of us siblings and I can never remember her raising her voice. I may have had a few spankings early in life, because something had taught me to listen when Mama spoke. But from the time I was old enough to have a clear memory, I remember only one spanking by my Mama. I can remember many, many times I should have been spanked, but when I did wrong, Mama would usually cry. I can clearly remember how it broke my heart to see my Mama cry, and how much more I would have preferred a spanking.

My Daddy was a Railway Mail Clerk, working on the trains, and was gone from home a lot. While Mama had the most profound influence on my life, “Pop’s” influence was also significant. Pop did a little boxing early in life, and frequently used language from those days. Early in my life he stressed to me that whatever happened, or whatever I had done, I should always know that he “was in my corner”. I understood what that meant, and throughout life whenever I got into trouble Pop was the first person I wanted to see. I remember friends in high school having problems and hoping their Daddy didn’t find out; but that never made sense to me, because my Pop would be the first one I’d turn to when I had a problem.

Pop took his fatherhood duties seriously and there was never much playing around with him. He was quick to correct and stern with discipline, but it was done in such a way that there was never a doubt in my mind that he loved me very much, and he wanted me to be the best I could. Pop held ladies in high esteem, placing them on a pedestal, and behavior that might be acceptable to him around men could draw a sharp rebuke if there were ladies present. I can remember him getting up in a restaurant and going to a table of strangers to remind them that there were ladies present that could hear their conversation. Although he was not a large man physically, he had a presence that demanded respect and usually received an apology for his efforts.

He impressed upon me that I was to be a gentleman around ladies and that boys do not hit girls. My sisters could do nothing that would provoke me into hitting them, because I knew how Pop felt about boys hitting girls and I did not want to find out what would happen to me if I did it. I must confess that I did find sneaky and conniving ways to get even when they made me mad, but I never hit one of them. Pop always corrected my behavior when I erred in his presence, and his rebuke usually started with, “Boy ! ”. Whenever he started his comments with an emphatic “Boy”, I knew what was coming. The last time I remember hearing this was in my living room when I used a vulgar word in front of my wife. Pop said, “ Boy!, do not talk like that in front of a lady!” I was 60 years old and he was 84.

My mind is crammed full of things “Mama said”. She had a way of teaching with parables, and stories, and examples that would stick in your head for the rest of your life. Like when things would not be going well in life and you would wonder why God was letting all this trouble happen to you; Mama explained that life was like a big work of God’s embroidery. He is on the top looking down at the beautiful picture taking shape. And we’re on the bottom looking up at the mess of tangles and knots. When we would pray and tell God what a mess things were, He would look down at the work nearing completion and say things looked just fine from there.

What follows is a collection of things “Mama said”. Since it’s all from memory, Mama may get credit for some things she didn’t actually say, but in every case it is something Mama would have said if she had thought of it. And besides, some days I’m pretty sure Mama is still talking to me.

Mama said your conscience is a very small, sharp pointed, metal triangle embedded in your heart. When you do something you should not do, it turns ever so slightly and the three points prick your heart to let you know to stop doing it. If you ignore the pricks in your heart and keep doing it, your conscience will eventually cut a circle in your heart so it can spin around with no pricks at all. That’s when you’re in trouble because you won’t know right from wrong anymore.

Mama said a lot of folks in this old world are hungry and we should be thankful for any food we have and never ever complain about what it is or how it’s cooked or even how it tastes. Just be thankful you have something to eat. The Bible says, “When the people complained, it displeased the Lord”.

I spent 37 years of my career in supervision and management, giving instructions and trying to motivate folks to do their best. Sometimes I was tempted to slam my fist down and say “because I said so”, but I could never forget that Mama had said for me to not ever let the love of power replace the power of love in my life.

Mama said I should read and study my Bible every day so when Jesus comes back I won’t have to try to explain to Him why I didn’t have time to read the book he gave us. And besides that, if some false prophet starts quoting Hezekiah 10:18 to me I’ll have sense enough to know Hezekiah’s not a book in the Bible.

Mama said when you become a child of God, he does not take away your freedom of choice or your human desires. You still have temptations and the ability to choose sin. But He hooks a big bungee cord on the back of your belt so you can only go so far away from Him. The further you stretch this cord and go away from God, the harder you are coming back when you reach the end of your cord. It can be very painful.

If there are a hundred members in your church, I bet there are only a half dozen or so that will sweep the floors, cut the grass and clean up the cemetery. The Bible says to be doers of the Word, and not hearers only; Mama said not to just stand around and pray when there’s work to be done.

There are only two kinds of people in this world; everyone is either a taker or a giver. Takers are generally looking for something for nothing while givers are generally trying to lend someone a helping hand. Mama said I was raised to be a giver and to stay away from takers cause they will bleed you dry and then get mad at you when you run out.

Once Mama caught me looking at an attractive young lady too long and too intense and told me I’d better keep my eyes straight ahead. I tried to explain that it was like admiring beautiful flowers, just because I liked to look at them, it didn’t mean I wanted to pick them. But she said I’d best save that tale for someone that didn’t know me. Mama said the best way to avoid forbidden fruit was to stay out of the devil’s orchard.

During a discussion about sin, little white lie sin or really bad sin, and which sins might be worse than others, Mama said that sin is not a smorgasbord you can pick and choose from. It’s like soup, and when you drink it you get it all.

Pop always had a head-full of dreams about things he wanted to do, places he wanted to go, and things he wanted to buy, including big recreational vehicles, property in Florida and in the mountains, and exotic vacations. When he went too far with his dreams, Mama would bring him back to earth. Mama said that every decision we make and action we take is based either on Pride, Greed, Lust, Prejudice, or God’s Will. We need to make sure our decisions and actions are based on God’s Will for our life.

Sometimes I find myself praying for things I don’t really feel down in my heart, especially when it involves forgiving someone or giving up bad habits. Mama said God hears your words, but He listens to your heart.

When I was about twelve I decided that smoking cigarettes would make me tough, bad, cool, or whatever it was I wanted to be at that age. I was making about eight dollars a week from my paper route so it was no problem for me to drop a quarter into a vending machine and get a pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes. I got two pennies change back, stuck down in the cellophane on the pack. 

I knew Mama would never approve of me smoking, so I got a large tomato can and hid my cigarettes behind the garage. I would lay the cigarettes and matches on the ground and turn the can upside down over them. By stepping on the can and pushing it into the ground over my stash, it would hide them and also protect them from the rain. When I left for school each morning I would take a short cut through the back yard, pick-up my cigarettes, and proudly puff away as I walked to school. Any cigarette not completely smoked would be carefully extinguished and the butt placed in my pocket for later. This thrifty habit proved to be the Achilles Heel of my scheme when Mama called me to the washing machine one day to explain the loose tobacco she had found in my shirt pocket. She was hurt that her son would stunt his growth by smoking cigarettes (we didn’t know about cancer back then). Mama cried, and I promised faithfully never ever to do such a thing again. Many times I have said I was sorry for something I did or said. Then I went out and did it again. I was not so sorry I had done it as I was that I got caught. Mama said that real repentance was being sorry enough to stop doing it.

Did you ever feel like some of God’s commandments and rules were designed to keep you from having fun or a good time? God has no need to show you who is boss or to demonstrate his power. Everything He says is for your own good and benefit, to ensure your eternal home in heaven, and to improve the quality of your life on earth. Mama said God doesn’t have an ego problem.

As a homemaker, wife and mother, especially during the years she had three teenagers at home, Mama must have had many exasperating and frustrating days when nothing seemed to go right, as we all do. But Mama never shared her frustrations with us; she would smile and said: “Jesus knows my deepest need, He knows my every care. My Lord has promised to be near, and all my burdens share.”

Mama said that God wants a son/daughter relationship with you. Your prayers should not be a wish list, or a turning to God as a last result when you are sick or in trouble. Your daily prayers should be an intimate conversation with God about your life; praise and thanksgiving for your blessings; and His direction for your future.

Mama said the deepest, most complex and profound theology in the scriptures can be expressed in only three words; “Jesus loves me”. He knows everything I’ve ever done, everything I’ve ever said, and every thought I’ve ever had; and He loves me anyway. I don’t understand this, but I’m sure thankful for it.

They say that time is relevant, how long five minutes is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on. We think of 80 or 90 years being a long life and then we read in the Bible of Methuselah fathering a child when he was 187 years old and living to be 969 years old. But even Methuselah’s long life was just a brief wisp of time as compared to eternity. Mama said it’s awesome to realize that during this brief time we spend on earth, we get to personally decide where we will spend eternity. Eternity is for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever……. 

Have you ever resisted attacking a situation or problem that subsequently went away by its self? Mama said that many times the smartest thing to say or do is nothing.

God said despise not, judge not (Romans 14:3) Mama said a person that does a certain thing should not despise one that does not do it; and a person who does not do a certain thing should not judge one who does it. The Bible says, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14: 12).

God created the Garden of Eden for Adam, but He expected Adam “to dress and keep” it. (Genesis 2:15) Mama said God expects us to maintain things He gives us too. If He gives you a house, He expects you to keep it clean and painted, if He gives you shoes He expects you to keep them clean and polished, if He gives you a car He expects you to keep it maintained and washed. The same principle applies to everything God gives you.
When Mama was on her deathbed at the Henry Medical Center, we prayed with her and tried to encourage her, but she would turn it around and comfort us. The last words I ever heard my Mama say were, “All is well in my Father’s house”, as she smiled and patted my hand.